getting off instagram

why do we all need proof that we are living
photographs and instagram
show that we are thriving
but those minutes spent finding the camera
weren’t used finding the view

I know photos don’t last forever
but I want an even less permanent home for my life
I want to wax and wane in your memories
where you’ll be the only one to know
what shirt I was wearing that night
and you never remember those things
so you’ll tell them polka dots
when I only wear stripes

build me a home
on your forgetful altar to the past
so I can sleep soundly
in places I’ve never been

let’s lose the frames around these moments
let’s give them to your neural pathways
your hyperfocused/multitasking/where’d I put it/why’re you asking
beautiful
spacious
mind
so full of latin names
species order genera
that my own name could be switched
with castalea
when you think back to my birthday
in the san rafael swell

your brain
brimming with colors and wildlife
when you think of me
drinking wine on the roof
the night I began to love you
you only see black
navy
and red wine
beneath my eye shine

your mind
so forgiving and graceful
that you release all of the sting
from my words
that night I slept across the hall
your memories
soft
just like you want them
will keep me safe from the dark alleys
of the past
you’ll keep me sweet and bright

my tears turn to meadows
in the back of your mind
they don’t look like the floods I recall
the ones that washed out roads
you remember them as creeks
that brought water to fields
keep me among your wildflowers
and meadowlarks
you don’t need to take a picture
this is where I’ll always be

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